oops im in love

Groom's Goodies & Random Thoughts

Maaaan, I love really great fabrics. I think this groom really nailed the whole "barn-Americana-retro" look.

By the way, during lunch I will finish working on the Save-the-Date tutorial. I have 1/3 of the draft typed out and can hopefully have it done by later today.

I don't want to open a can of worms (and I may hear a can opening right now...), but I keep chewing on the idea of the lack of diversity in the wedding blog world. I talked to my fiance about it yesterday and told him how an interracial couple was featured on A Practical Wedding and that there was a HUGE response of "finally!" or "yay!"

Now mind you, I am not here to discuss the "race" aspect (yet) -- but more of the business aspect. You know what gets you featured on the "big" wedding blogs? Your photography. You can have amazing little details, DIY, gorgeous dress, etc. -- but if your photography stinks, it will not represent your wedding well. Same with simple weddings -- you can have VERY little but gorgeously captured details -- and BAM! You are on. Obviously, the more unique (and more personalized details) -- the more likely you'll get featured. But that photography needs to be on point!

Speaking directly about the lack of African American/mixed couples featured on wedding blogs -- is it because there is less interest placed in photography? Because the bride can only do so much -- the photographer is the one "submitting" to these wedding blogs. Or are they submitting but not being published? I completely understand the disappointment because you can't necessarily "relate" to everything. I'm Latina and I'm not exactly represented either, BUT I have a "design" and "photography" mentality, so I relate more on the design rather than the personal aspect. Even then though, it's overwhelming because everything is so "perfect" and "ruffled" and "soft" and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh.

I wish I could hear everyone's opinion and thoughts -- but I have a feeling it might be too sensitive? What do you think? Cause seriously.... consider the photography business that is pretty much "directing/driving" the wedding blog world/business.

Cake Story

The long awaited for cake story. It's not incredible nor dramatic -- just plain bad experience.

As you may have remembered my second trip to Houston last month, we went to re-visit our bakery. Re-visit. Not visit for the first time. We had seen them back in May for our first trip to Houston and enjoyed their 3-leches cake. I wanted a simple white cake with this design that Jasmine made for me inspired by a cake I had seen online:

I figured they could handle a *relatively* simple design on a white cake. Honestly, I was NOT going to be spending more than $200 on a cake. I respect that it may be incredibly important to other brides, but I just can't justify $3.50+ a slice. Unfortunately, there are times in your life that you "get what you pay for." But I'm getting ahead of myself.

SO! I spoke with someone from the bakery and told them I was in town. I asked if I could e-mail the design of the cake to him and if they could make a small sample for me. Cause, you know, I'm trying to save money but I don't want "surprises" at the wedding ;) Fortunately he agreed and was incredibly professional on the phone!

We (my brother, Jose, and I) show up at the bakery the next day and I am feeling excited. I finally get to see something that I will be seeing at the wedding! Potentially. He serves my brother and I some coffee and he brings out a sample of the 3 leches cake to remind us of our last experience. It was just as delicious as the last and I am very pleased. He then gives us a chocolate slice of cake which had been in the fridge too long = gross. Then he walks back to the kitchen to.... bring out the cake!!!

Calm down, you'll get pictures. You know I won't leave you hanging like this!! ;)

The first thing I notice when he brings the sample cake out is the icing color -- beautiful! I love the shade of blue they chose. Then he sets it down in front of us and... well, I don't say anything. It's not ugly, but it has a tone of "sloppiness" to it. AND then I notice it's lopsided! YEAH, the freaking bread is... lopsided? It isn't noticeable until it's sitting right in front of you. The guy asks "what do you think?" And, this makes me laugh, we pause and Jose turns to him: "What do you think?" I love my man!

The guy says: "Well, first of all, the design (referring to the swirls) are not done correctly. They should have made the side branches first THEN laid the base on top so it doesn't look so piece-y."

Mind you, I hadn't really noticed that so while he is talking I think "Oh wow.. that's right."

He continues: "Obviously, there is a slant here (referring to the top of the cake), and I also think the icing was put on sloppy. I'm embarrassed to say that they had our intern work on this and I'm not sure why."

Ironically, I'm starting to feel worst about the cake after all of what he says. I guess it's worst than my first glance.... and I'm starting to second question the professionalism of the bakery (not the guy). At this point I'm not really sure what to say because I don't think it's "awful" but it's clearly lacking. However, it TASTES good and..... it's CHEAP! That's what I really want -- a cake that tastes good and is not over $200. I'm not that particular about the design, but I don't like the sound of "I don't know why they had our intern working on it." Don't you think that's bad?

I mean -- think about it. You are meeting with POTENTIAL clients -- they have not handed any money over. You want to *win* them over, and even though your professionalism is great, it will all go down the drain when you fail to impress them on the first trial with your product! How am I supposed to feel confident that you will do a relatively good job (i.e. NOT slanted cake) for my wedding? It gets better.

It always gets better.

He knows we're hesitant and so he says "You know, we can remake this and I can take a picture of it and send it to you. We'll put the actual design." HA! I JUST realized that they hadn't put the design I sent them on the sample!! DURH! They made up their own design and just used the one I e-mailed him as an "inspiration." Whaaaaaat? So what kind of design am I going to have on my wedding? A second rendition? And how dumb am I that I didn't even realize the design on the cake was not the one I e-mailed them? Again, it didn't look THAT bad, so I just... didn't notice.

Finally, I say "well, I would much rather see the second trial in person. I don't feel comfortable with relying on a picture and then agreeing to hire you based on a photo." He asks when we're leaving and I respond "tomorrow." He surprises me and says "can you come tomorrow morning? We'll have a second sample for you then WITH your design." I perk up and say "really?! Ok! That would be great!"


I'm excited again. I find out he's not there that day so we're just waiting on the cashier lady to bring the cake out to us. Jose sees our cake in the kitchen and tells me "they haven't put the design yet. Now is the real test. Will they hurry up and make a sloppy design because we're here already? Or will they keep us waiting, but work more slowly on the design." I'll let you guess what they did.

They bring the cake out and the lady says "You can eat it here or take it home." She sets it on the table.....

I will let the pictures speak for themselves

You can click on them to make it bigger. LOOK AT THAT MESS.

Did they just trace the design and MISSED it?!

Speechless. I asked for a to go box and just took it back with us to Dallas. Don't judge me, but it was my grandma's birthday and we told her we got her a birthday cake.

There was no way we could hire someone who made THAT for our "trial." If the intern made the first trial, his vision impaired cousin must have made the 2nd trial!! I mean, seriously??

So what now? I still can't pay over $200 for the cake. I really... I just don't care THAT much about it. Ugh. I just want a decent cake!! Our caterer is da bomb -- people are going to love the food! And if the only thing people remember about my wedding is that my cake was not "up to par" -- I must have done something wrong. But I still need SOMETHING.

Enter Plan B.

My fiance's mother --- she is fabulous. She is the worry-free individual of this wedding and I love it! She asked "Okay -- you like how the cake TASTES right?" Me: "Yes" Her: "Would you be willing to consider them at ALL?" Me: "Pfft! No.. I mean, only if they made me a SIMPLE white cake and charged me like $100."

Wait a minute.

Simple white cake....

Alejandra, you're creative aren't you?! GET IT TOGETHER! That's all you need! (That's me talking to myself, not my fiance's mother haha). If we get this cake for super cheap AND it tastes good, can't I just get some CUUUTE cake topper, add some flowers, and BAM! I'm done!

YES!!!!!!!!!!!! AND, guess what? I found an Etsy seller who makes personalized cake toppers without charging an arm and a leg!!! She will incorporate details of your attire (veil, dress material, color, face features, etc.) and will even put your names on the base! All for $35!!!

How cute are they?!

And that is my "screw the cake" story. I am just going to get a freaking white cake that TASTES good, add a personal touch to it with a few red garden flowers for more "decor" -- and that's it. A total that should come out to be about $150 and everyone is happy. Except for my cousin Carlos who is not a fan of whip-cream icing. And sorry to my guests who don't like whip-cream icing, but it's my favorite! You're welcome to bring your own!!

At least that's plan B. If this doesn't work out -- I'll update you on Plan C. There is none yet, but let's hope I don't have to get to that point....

So what are your thoughts on the topper?! And what did you think of the trial/sample?! Rejoice in the mess with me!! :) :) :)

Cause I love pretty pictures

via One Love Photo

I have some fun stuff to post for the upcoming weeks!!

1) My horrible wedding cake experience

2) MY SAVE THE DATES! I know not many of my friends have photoshop, but in case anyone out there does -- I'm actually going to tell you EXACTLY how I made mine! This way, if you have photoshop... you can experiment with what I did and make your own invites (for babyshowers, parties, birthdays, weddings, etc.).

3) Groom goodies

4) CONVINCE my fiance to be a guest blogger (yeaaaa!!! ;)

But in the mean time... take a break with some of these links!

+ There are 2 looks I am "collecting" for a surprise (you will find out eventually). This one and this one.. now, to find the clothes at a thrift store or make a modern twist with my own..

+ DIY snowglobes!! via Creative Odds n' Ends

+On second thought, screw the cake and let's bring these!

+What are your thoughts on splits? I just don't look very good in them, but others pull it off... do you?

+You're not going to believe this... after much consideration, I am HONESTLY going to attempt making one of these. And YES, you will be updated on my progress. I already have some "beginning the ridiculous project" pictures!

+Speaking of DIY -- how about a simple bow? What if I attached a clip and made my ring bearer's bow tie like this?

+Then I could use the fabric I am obsessed with!!

+Now this is a gorgeous alternative to wedding hair pieces. Stunning!

+Interesting read... what if you didn't love your wedding? Would you admit it?

+Or "You'll seeeee" via A Practical Wedding

+Ok, this was WAY more fun than I expected. This Freud like character asks you 4 q's, jots his notes, and reveals your "type." Apparently I am "architype" which was a font I did not like and don't think reflects me. But it was still fun -- I laughed at the "discipline" question. What is your type? Via How About Orange

Going on a date tonight with Jose! We're going ice skating at Centennial Park. I'm pretty bad at it, so I hope I don't come back with too many bruises on my butt :)

Veil Help!

Remember I was thinking about this for my veil? (Keep in mind, I plan on adding a flower similar to this)

Well now she came out with this one and I think I am in love!! It's a little more expensive, but that's because it's not just the fabric. This would change my plans of putting a flower in my hair since the veil has the embroidered flowers. However, I feel more attracted to the volume of this veil...

What do you think?!?! Please vote!! The 1st or 2nd?!

The 5 Love Languages Series: Part I

[[ This is a series of summaries and personal "confessions" and opinions on "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman ]]

I have to start with the acknowledgments. Why? Because there were some key points that immediately caught my attention and made me want to continue reading this book.

Let me start with the main idea:
"We must be willing to learn our spouse's [or insert partner/friend here] primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love."

"People speak different love languages ...
Most of us grow up learning the language of our parents and siblings, which becomes our primary or native tongue. Later, we may learn additional languages but usually with much more effort."

"In the area of love, it is similar. Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English. No matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your spouse understands only Chinese, you will never understand how to love each other."

Wow. Is that what has been wrong all this time? We become frustrated that we are "doing all we can" to show them love and even sometimes think they "take it for granted," when in fact -- we're speaking a foreign language to them!

Here is the last section that I love (summary):

"We have long known that in early childhood development each child develops unique emotional patterns. Some children, for example, develop a pattern of low self-esteem whereas others have healthy self-esteem. Some develop emotional patterns of insecurity whereas others grow up feeling secure. Some children grow up feeling loved, wanted, and appreciated, yet others grow up feeling unloved, unwanted, and unappreciated.

The children who feel loved by their parents and peers will develop a primary emotional love language
based on their unique psychological makeup and the way their parents and other significant persons expressed love to them. Children who do not feel loved by their parents and peers will also develop a primary love language. However, it will be somewhat distorted in much the same way as some children may learn poor grammar and have an underdeveloped vocabulary. The poor programming does not mean they cannot become good communicators. But they will have to work at it more diligently than those who had a more positive model."

*The goods* (yikes! Talk about honesty...)

I consider myself in an "in between" model. I was raised by a single mother and this was an eye opening experience beyond my relationship with my fiance. Growing up, my mother became frustrated easily, criticized us
a lot, and was very sensitive. I, growing up, was a pretty temperamental child. My mom yelled = I yelled. At the same time, my mom was incredibly supportive of my dreams and SUCH a proud mother. She always, always, always talks about her kids. Ask her. She will beam.

However, reflecting on my childhood and applying the way "love" was shown in my house, there are many things that I have taken into perspective. I realize how sensitive I am to criticism. In respect to my relationship, I became very defensive when Jose was critical of something that I did. He is a rational minded individual. At times when he would simply be questioning out of curiosity, to me felt like an interrogation and questioning of my motives (in a negative way). I then would become upset and answer irritated, to which then he would become defensive and ask why I was so upset. The funny thing is, I grew up as the "attitude" child that when I LIVE up to this "expectation," I become really upset = I encourage my stereotype. I think "ugh! I'm proving them right" and I get so upset at myself. But unfortunately, I am portraying a negative attitude because I dislike that Jose surfaced these emotions, when in fact, the only person to blame is

My whole life, the relationships I was closest to surfaced my "attitude" -- the part of me that I battle with, trying to keep her in the closet. Unfortunately, that "attitude" is so closely tied to my language of love because of the criticisms I received so much as a child, it is
bound to surface with the people that I love. Ask my family. Ask Jose. It's pretty retarded how defensive I get when I it APPEARS (key word: appears) that I am belittled, disrespected, or judged by the people closest to me. Why? Because my childhood was full of opinions and criticisms (negative) that I associate that with being "unloved."

This is just the beginning. I felt empowered when I read this chapter because there is logic to my behavior. What this means is that there is a
solution. I thought "I can let go. How can I move past that?"

Next sections:
"Keeping the Love Tank Full"
"Falling in Love"

Then we start with the
Love Languages -- #1 Words of Affirmation