(photos by Raya Carlisle)
You hear it all the time... the year flew by. But here I am, still shaking my head that it really HAS been a year. The wedding, Spain, moving to Phoenix, re-starting my business, meeting amazing people, and understanding this world that is called marriage.
I had a really hard transition, I'm not going to lie. I went from working a 9-5 job with other people, socially involved with a busy schedule -- to working at home with NO people and having a socially blank slate upon moving to Phoenix. Well, not counting finding a dance studio within the first week of arriving here (but who is surprised? :).
I would be SO confused about my role as a wife. If I'm working at home and there's laundry to do, does that mean I should be the one doing it? Should I be prepping dinner every night because I'm already at home? I put all of these pressures on myself, making assumptions because I wanted to be a good wife, until I finally crumbled. I hated doing these things by myself and I admitted this to Jose in tears one weekend. He immediately squeezed me tightly and gently asked "why didn't you ever say anything?"
I wiped my eyes and thought about it. There were a lot of reasons. My culture, the newness of my role as a wife, working from home for the first time, and expectations I made up. Everything was so NEW -- I didn't know what to do, so I just slapped it on my wife-to-do's. After that break down, Jose reminded me that I was still working (re-establishing my photography business) even though I was home. He told me to not think about any house chores until he got home and we would do them together. BURDEN LIFTED!
Oh my gosh... I can't even tell you how amazing it felt to get that off my chest and to really understand the partnership of marriage. We're partners. I'll do the laundry and he does the dishes. We cook together. I make the beds, he cleans the toilets (ha! I know, MUCH better deal on my end ;). And there are days when I need help with my load and Jose is there to lift it.
He is so good to me. God is so good to me. To us. And while there were some intense transitions in the beginning, we continue to explore the beauty of marriage. The ability to be completely vulnerable with each other, to find strength in each other, and relish in the days we stay up late watching TV or eating breakfast for dinner.
Sometimes I feel like we're two big kids who are allowed to make their own decisions with a home all to ourselves. I don't know what the future will bring, but I'm sure we will face many more challenges and adventures. More than anything, our struggles have shown me that we can get through anything if we're united and on our knees in prayer. I am his and he is mine :)
p.s. He is a much better writer and had me in tears when he posted this.